The chair moves slowly, the back spinning away and the front spinning towards you. A face slides into the dim light of the hall. You silently accept your fate.
I look over my glasses at you, fingers steepled.
"You have accepted my offer, I see." I say, unnecessarily, because you wouldn't be here if you hadn't accepted. I've always liked drama like that.
"You seemed worthy of my attention." You say, from your place eight feet away from my desk, also unnecessarily. You wouldn't be here if I wasn't worthy of your attention. You've always liked drama like that.
I sigh. "First door on your right," I tell you. You nod and stride away, into the corridor.
A door creaks open.
Green light spills out, along with screams.
A door closes.
Welcome
To
The Blueberry With T-Rex Arms
Recently I discovered that there are restaurants that can kick you out if you are not wearing proper attire.
I would tell you the real way I discovered this, but that's not anywhere near as interesting as the way I just thought up.
Are you ready?
WELL. I was wandering around the city wearing my favorite outfit, which was a baggy tee shirt and basketball shorts. I had a denim bow tie to bring the look all together. Actually, multiple denim bow ties, all over my clothes and in my hair. I had a sport coat tied around my neck like a cape, too.
My impeccable sense of fashion aside, I was starting to get kind of hungry. (Taming giant lizards really takes it out of a person.) So I walked into a decent restaurant, where there were lots of people like me. They too had sport coats and bow ties. However, they seemed to think that I did not meet the fashion requirements, as the wait staff left their positions and the diners leapt out of their seats, nostrils leaking smoke, snarling at me.
"You did not complete the requirements...." they hissed. In unison.
"But I have a sport coat and a bow tie!" I explained confusedly.
"You are wearing basketball shorts and faded denim. It was explicitly stated that you should NOT wear basketball shorts or faded or ripped denim. Not to mention your improper and excessive use of that sport coat and all those bow ties!" They continued to hiss in unison. One young gentleman in a tuxedo appeared to be turning his head completely around like an owl, presumably out of hatred for my noncompliance.
I raised my ankle to my face (Because that is where I store my monocle. (Aside from on my elbow, but that one is rather hard to get at.)) to get a closer look at him.
Peering through the monocle, the crowd's faces were twisted and reptilian. The lizards I had been training earlier!
After the subsequent laser gun fight I was rather proud of myself, both for making enemies and for single handedly taking down an army of obnoxiously fashion-conscious lizard humanoids.
The real story is that in class we are learning HTML, so we had to make a website. My group did ours as a tour page for Seattle. Olivia was finding reviews for restaurants, and there was one restaurant's website that told you nothing about the actual food, only what you should wear. Hm. If you are so uptight that you need people to wear specific clothes so you can have a nice atmosphere, you might need to rethink your priorities. Or maybe drink some tea and remember that nothing is real and you aren't getting out of this world alive anyway, so might as well let people wear a fez and be an interesting person while they eat your food.
But this wasn't the first time I had heard of restaurants being strict about clothes. One time (in real life) I went to this fancy steak place, and there was a sign that said "casual attire welcome". As if it wouldn't be! I found this odd. But this was also my first experience with steak restaurants, steak, and steak knives. I was unimpressed with the restaurant and the steak (not a huge meat lover). But I did like the knives, which were very lovely if misused.
We also found a restaurant that offered skinned grapes for far too much money, and it was at that point that I decided that I better not question the whims of the upper class.
// : \\ : // : \\ : // : \\
Little Robbin nominated me for the Unknown Bloggers Tag, which is for bloggers with under 100 followers to meet each other. Whoever made this was obviously not a part of our blogging community. To think that 100 is a small number! It's quite a stretch for most of us to have 50.
ANYWAY.
I appreciate the tag, and will try to look at some of the other people's blogs.
Yeah, man. I'm on top of things.
ON TO THE QUESTIONS!
If you could spend the day with any celebrity, who would you pick, and why?
....I would not like to hang out with a person I haven't met before. Things like that make me uncomfortable. I wouldn't even like spending an entire day with my friends. A day is an awful long time to deal with people.
Ugly and live forever, or attractive and die in a year?
Do you realize how awful living forever would be? Watching all your friends die, watching the earth heat up and animals die, wishing you and your fellow humans had done something about global warming. And after all the humans have died out, you sit alone and watch as the sun expands, burning the earth beneath you and you are held forever in the burning pain that is our dying sun.
What's the point of being attractive? To get a mate? Why would you want a mate who only liked you for your looks? How would you define "attractive"? Are you aware of how much if your life you would miss out on if you were to choose this option? Would the satisfaction of being pretty really be worth missing out on the majority of your life?
Dang, girl. You ask some tough questions.
What's the weirdest thing you have ever done?
Every day I do something weird. You're going to have to define weird. It is a completely normal occurrence for me to slide around the floor on my belly, or to wander around the city holding a plush dragon, or to make elephant noises instead of talking about my problems.
Are you a morning or a nighttime person?
Night time. I can get the camera and tripod and take pictures of the stars, I like staying up late drawing, so many things are possible at night.
Speaking if which: HERE IS A BOOK YOU ALL SHOULD READ:
My Name is Mina. By David Almond. I will write about why it is awesome later.
Quit school at 16 and get a terrible job, or do an extra year (plus uni) and get an amazing job?
*squints at you* what kind of person do you take me for?
Why did you start your blog? (I just feel like I should include a blog related question!)
I started my blog 'cause I wanted another outlet for my doll stuff, instead of texting it to my aunt(and by extension, Barrett). And I wanted to be friends with all the other bloggers that I read at the time.
I am going to do all blog-related questions because this is a blog related tag.
What kind of posts so your followers seem to like the best?
Where do you find inspiration to post?
What blogger(s) do you look up to most?
If aliens looked at your blog to see what they were getting themselves into when they invaded, would yours be an accurate representation of humanity?
Do you even care? Those poor aliens and their experiments. They had no idea about you, the driving force behind our rebellion. Do you have a plan for the next attack?
Alrighty. I tag:
Jenni from In My Own Little World
Kirsten and Sylvia from Journal Of Two Dolls
Kara at Doll World
Rose Thorn form It's Looking A Bit Mitty
Tenley from The Sunshine Dollies
And anyone who wants to tell me their opinion on the aliens and how you have wronged them, or how you plan to destroy them.
*bows* thank you. That will be all for now.
A door opens
Several things spill out. Green light, screams, and you.
Battered, awestruck, but unharmed.
A door closes.
THE MAGNIFICENT GWEN HAS MADE HER RETURN
ReplyDeleteSince I have nothing better to do, as it is a snow day, and I'm procrastinating, I'm going to do this tag now instead of doing my very large language arts project. xD
~J
100 followers would be QUITE A LOT!!! I have 30 at the moment, and am pretty content with that number. I used to have like 35, but whatever. Thanks for tagging me, I'll do it soon.
ReplyDelete