Watching

I am afraid, lots of the time
Of what people think of me
or if something is out of place
they may misinterpret it.

If you are like me, you are afraid of this all the time
And you hate working in the computer lab, with those giant screens
when anyone could walk by and see what you're working on
and you hate that.
I really hate that.
because someone could see your imperfect work
and start thinking things about you

sometimes it gets to the point where I just scroll up and down for the whole period
pretending to be working
but not writing anything
because i'm too busy worrying about how there might be someone looking over my shoulder

here in my room, by myself, I work much easier
I can keep everything secret until the final product is ready to be unveiled.

But still.
I feel insecure about sharing it
because it still might not be perfect
or someone might not like it

And yet
If I showed no one anything
and kept everything inside
I'd be a stagnant, unproductive puddle of vague yet persistent fear