Adventures with Tracy the uptight family friend + get to know me tag

G R E E T I N G S,  E A R T H   F R I E N D S
Preview of what's to come:

• Guttural noises
• Interpretive dancing
• Creative uses and misuses for green beans
• Making loud comments on the mundane
• Using telekinesis to tickle Eli's kidneys
• Sliding along the floor on my belly shouting "I'M COMING FOR YOU!"

 I got tagged by Kara from Doll World for this 20 Things You Might Not Know About Me Tag.
Thank You Kara, for helping my followers, my lovely prehistoric reptilian fruits, learn useless facts about me.
How tall are you?
Taller than nine tenths of the girls in my school and shorter than three fourths of the boys in my school
Do you have a hidden talent?
It's hidden. Let me know when you find it.
Blog related pet peeve?
"I'm sorry for not posting!!!!!!!1!!!11!!!!!!"posts
Non blog related pet peeve?
Things happening. People. Lights. Noise. Textures. But that's only sometimes. The rest of the time, it's the sea of pointless chatter around me. if i were to drown, i would not be panicked at my own death, I would remain mildly annoyed at the water still all around me.
That analogy went awry. I'm not sorry.
Favorite song?
I listen to a lot of stuff, leaving me with at least 50 favorite songs. Let's just do the new favorites.
I started listening to twenty one pilots. My favorite songs that I've heard so far are Oh Ms Believer and Isle Of Flightless Birds. (amazon prime only has the albums self titled and Vessel. I haven't heard Blurryface or the other one who's name I forget.)
Favorite Etsy shop?
Lorilizgirlsanddolls, I guess. I like looking at Etsy less and less, 'cause most of he doll stuff is frumpy frilly things that no one would actually wear. I don't have the patience to sift through the dirt to find the gems.
Someone give me Etsy recommendations, please!
How do you spend your free time?
I draw, I paint, I wallow in self loathing/pity, I revel in the beauty of everything and my own inexplicable happiness. Also, I made a rock garden.

Favorite junk food?
Graham crackers and Nutella.
Pets?
2 dogs. A Rottweiler named Heidi and a lab mix named Indigo.
Fave fiction and nonfiction books?
Fiction is the best. I like Good Omens and the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I have not read a good nonfiction book recently. Or ever.
Fave beauty product?
Tears. They clear your skin.
When were you last embarrassed? Why?
My entire existence embarrasses me. I try not to think about it too much.
If you could only drink one beverage for the rest of your life (besides water) what would it be?
Coffee. My jet fuel. My precious bean water. And let there be a little bit of milk in it as well.
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
In an old craftsman style (u know, like from the 1920s) house surrounded by trees. There is also bamboo, ferns, and a small stream. There are lots of windows in the house, so I can have little plants all over inside.
PC or Mac?
Mac.
Favorite celebrity?
Do Dan and Phil or Gerard Way count?
What blogger do you secretly want to be best friends with?
Secretly? If I tell you, it's not a secret. Anyway. I want to be IRL best friends with Ellie, and bloggy best friends with Star Girl.

I tag anyone who is reading this post. That means you. You are reading this. I check the number of pageviews. You are viewing this page. You must do the tag. I will hunt you down. aside from my followers, my lovely prehistoric reptilian fruits, I tag my uncle's co-worker who may or may not read this blog anymore. I tag my 42 mysterious Russian pageviewers.

...
I tag the 43 poor souls using Internet Explorer to view this.
YOU. YOU ARE VIEWING THIS RIGHT NOW. Give me 20! facts about yourself. If you do not have a blog to post this on, simply write all your answers down, ritually burn the paper in a small fire, and then scream 20 facts about yourself to the silent stars, distant, cold, and deaf to your cries.

Today (Saturday) we went to a mandatory get-together with Tracy. You will remember that Tracy is the no-nonsense lady as mentioned in the Florence the Gender-Ambivalent Plastic Dragon post.
I am not opposed to Tracy or her 2 boy children or her house, but all of these things are a little intense. Nothing weird happens at Tracy's house. No interpretive dancing, no art projects, no trying new things without a set of instructions and a clear plan of clean up. It is clean and straight and organized. It somehow manages to be oppressive, no matter how spacious and uncluttered the rooms are.
As the weirdo artist child who lives in the woods, it is my duty to bring some spice to Tracy and Elijah and Kai's life. By spice I mean:

• Guttural noises
• Interpretive dancing
• Creative uses and misuses for green beans
• Making loud comments on the mundane
• Using telekinesis to tickle Eli's kidneys
• Sliding along the floor on my belly shouting "I'M COMING FOR YOU!"

I did the social equivalent of a marathon in those hours. I did an excellent job of talking to Elijah. The problem is, I can't remember all the things I said. It was a brilliant and weird monologue, including but not limited to: Night Vale references, questioning Eli's intelligence, and ominous suggestions of what may or may not have happened while I was standing behind him in the kitchen thinking about how a person who isn't paying attention would get their elbow licked and not even know it if they weren't paying attention. But I know it was funny, because mom and dad and Tracy were laughing. This was was one of those situations where I could have worn the I See Your Snark And Will Raise You Some Sass shirt with the utmost confidence.
Eli did not do an excellent job of enjoying my monologue or responding to it. He mostly put his face in his hands. Elijah is a smart boy, but his vocabulary is stored in his hard drive, not his RAM. He had a bit of trouble keeping up, which made the whole thing mostly entertainment for the grown ups.

It very much disappoints me that I can't remember the clever things I said. But I do know that after a particularly cunning remark, I raised one haughty eyebrow at him whilst taking a sip of milk from a plastic cup, much as one would sip fancy wine and make appropriate facial gestures after a meaningful or biting intonation.

And sad news: Florence the Gender-Ambivalent Plastic Dragon has been lost to the Dark Box.
It is unclear what the Dark Box is and where is exists in space. But I do know that that's where Florence is, and they will wait patiently for me until I retrieve them.
I have some ideas about where the Dark Box might be, so I'll go look now.
...
 nope.

While cleaning my room, I found a teeny tiny notebook that had one drawing in it. It is from last year. I'm sure we can all relate to it.

On Thursday I was angry at the universe and things that exist in it, and the fact that they affect me even in the smallest of ways. So I kicked a hole in the wall and drew this dinosaur:

Now I have to find a way to fix the wall.