I am afraid, lots of the time
Of what people think of me
or if something is out of place
they may misinterpret it.
If you are like me, you are afraid of this all the time
And you hate working in the computer lab, with those giant screens
when anyone could walk by and see what you're working on
and you hate that.
I really hate that.
because someone could see your imperfect work
and start thinking things about you
sometimes it gets to the point where I just scroll up and down for the whole period
pretending to be working
but not writing anything
because i'm too busy worrying about how there might be someone looking over my shoulder
here in my room, by myself, I work much easier
I can keep everything secret until the final product is ready to be unveiled.
But still.
I feel insecure about sharing it
because it still might not be perfect
or someone might not like it
And yet
If I showed no one anything
and kept everything inside
I'd be a stagnant, unproductive puddle of vague yet persistent fear
This blog has been around since I was 13 years old. I am now 20. Please excuse the cringe of my youth.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Watching
Labels:
feelings??,
writing
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Rylan is the star of the show
Good day, friends!
Good day, enimies!
Good day, random passers-by!
Today I present to you a photoshoot with Rylan, as practice using the reflector and flash.
Labels:
dolls,
nature,
photography,
Rylan
Monday, February 15, 2016
Happy Tag
given to me by Ellie
Books that make me happy- these are mainly children's books. But that's fine. These are the most comforting.
Junonia by Kevin Henkes
A little girl goes to a beach house with her family, just like every year. It's her very favorite place, fairytaleish to her. But this year, some of her favorite people- other vacationers that arrive around the same time as her family- are missing due to weather and scheduling errors. New people, strangers, are there too. Naturally, this is very uncomfortable and disappointing for a ten year old who expects certain things from a yearly vacation. Some may say that this is a silly thing to be upset about, but I can tell you, this is exactly how I felt
Books that make me happy- these are mainly children's books. But that's fine. These are the most comforting.
Junonia by Kevin Henkes
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Friday, February 5, 2016
Cactus
Labels:
calm down friend,
Gwen tries to draw,
pretty things
Monday, February 1, 2016
Back And Weirder Than Ever- REJOICE, FRIENDS
You are in a great hall, superbly decorated by someone with a dark and eccentric taste. You walk towards the end, feet padding across the shiny floor. You squint in the darkness, towards the shape at the end of the hall. As you near, you realize that the shape is a desk with a high, leather backed chair behind it. The chair's back is facing you, so the occupant may gaze out the windows at the night. Eight feet away from the desk, you stop. And cough- politely.
The chair moves slowly, the back spinning away and the front spinning towards you. A face slides into the dim light of the hall. You silently accept your fate.
I look over my glasses at you, fingers steepled.
"You have accepted my offer, I see." I say, unnecessarily, because you wouldn't be here if you hadn't accepted. I've always liked drama like that.
"You seemed worthy of my attention." You say, from your place eight feet away from my desk, also unnecessarily. You wouldn't be here if I wasn't worthy of your attention. You've always liked drama like that.
I sigh. "First door on your right," I tell you. You nod and stride away, into the corridor.
A door creaks open.
Green light spills out, along with screams.
A door closes.
The chair moves slowly, the back spinning away and the front spinning towards you. A face slides into the dim light of the hall. You silently accept your fate.
I look over my glasses at you, fingers steepled.
"You have accepted my offer, I see." I say, unnecessarily, because you wouldn't be here if you hadn't accepted. I've always liked drama like that.
"You seemed worthy of my attention." You say, from your place eight feet away from my desk, also unnecessarily. You wouldn't be here if I wasn't worthy of your attention. You've always liked drama like that.
I sigh. "First door on your right," I tell you. You nod and stride away, into the corridor.
A door creaks open.
Green light spills out, along with screams.
A door closes.
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