Goat Overlord Of The Universe: the full story

In earlier posts and in the comment boxes of at least three different people, I have mentioned that I am the Goat Overlord Of The Universe. You are no doubt wanting to know why this is. FEAR NOT! Your thirst for knowledge will be quenched. {quenched is a good word. Like splinched and wombat and guacamole}

I have always been here. There was no "dawn of time" or "first there was nothing, then there was..." I was always here, and have always been here. Time and space extend in all directions and I am on all and none of those points in that dimension. With me were some smaller astral beings, also goats, like myself. We had/are having/will have a nice time together. 

In order for you to understand how the humans, Vulcans, martians, Jawas, Ewoks,  and such came into existence, we'll talk about some creation myths.

Let us begin with the big bang, an extremely dense point of matter, which exploded. Some think that happened, others think that an anthropomorphic male being in the sky made the earth and all that, and various other explanations of why we're here. All insist that their version is correct. (or if they're not insisting, they just don't care and that's ok too.)

THE TRUTH IS

(im sorry about this, guys)

I farted.

All the bits of stuff in the universe, expanding out from that one point, are actually bits of goat poo and fart residue. Those solidified, froze, compacted, heated up, and did all sorts of things while hurtling through space. (waltzing was not one of those things, But moshing was, if you are concerned about the dancing behaviors of goat poo.) Atoms collected, separated, reacted, reenacted every Shakespeare play they knew (which was none of them.) After a long, short, infinite, finite amount of time, planets began to grow life. My goat friends and I thought that was pretty dang cool and so I farted in a bunch of different dimentions, just for giggles.

It was a very good bowl of chili that made me fart. You may thank either me or the chili, but if you thank the chili, you are also thanking me because I rule everything and am affiliated with everything (but you can't blame me for people like Donald Trump or vegetables or your great aunt Mildred who hates pineapples, queer folk, and the color #98b296. I don't have control over the life forms I indirectly created.)

Recently I aquired a bunch of different vessels for my being and sent them to all the planets I made. The one for Earth is called Gwen. It's pretty interesting. Humans are pretty interesting. My vessel has ten fingers and ten toes (though one toe is considerably shorter than the rest.) and eyes that don't function as well as other human's eyes. There are scars on the knees and lumps of fat on the chest and shoulders that slump. I do not know how I feel about any of this. Human vessels are interesting. Of course, It beats being a single-celled life form on one of my other planets.

Anyhow, Ive been piloting this vessel around since it was very small, and it has made some friends. One of those friend's name is John. John is a huge nerd and he and my vessel take pictures of space in an observatory with several other nerds of it's approximate age, since human's experience time.

(and, since my word is law, "my vessel"/"it" shall now be referred to as "Gwen"/ "I" for myself, Goat Overlord Of The Universe, and "Gwen"/"hey you"/"her"/"him"/"they" for all of you beings in the same form as me at the moment. [and if you humans have other ways of referring to eachother like...i don't know... "cerulean papaya" please let me know.])

I used my goat powers to befriend John and make him my pope. His duty is to spread the word of the Goat Overlord Of The Universe and my awesomeness. Also, I had him 3D print me a pineapple.

Sheep go to heaven and goats go to hell is a song by Cake. It isn't that great of a song.

Also, this is the second time my art has been complimented with a swear word.

This is the pineapple I aquired.

And this is the pope hat I made. I should make him wear it someday.

Now, the robotics team has named that goat logo Gwen, and acknowledge me as their overlord. Mr. Collins was like "of all the titles a teenage girl would want...." well, Collins, some people want boyfriends, and some want universal domination. I just happen to be the second kind.

I think that is all in the goat department. What are your titles? Vessels? Origin stories?

Today in my scribbles:

"There is a thin semantic line between weird and beautiful, and that line is covered in jellyfish." 

-Welcome To Night Vale

By that definition, Night Vale should also be covered in jellyfish. If it weren't for the fact that they are in the middle of the desert. Maybe I am covered in jellyfish too. Or maybe you are. Have you checked for jellyfish on yourself lately?

My blueberry with t-rex arms still hasn't managed to pull their life together.

Remember the glass I was telling you about in my last post? Here are two of them. The first one is supposed to be a G for Gwen or Goat using negative space, but you cant really tell because I didn't put a strip of blue on the top and bottom. That's why the marker lines are there. The second one I should have used a lighter shade of orange. Also doing those diagonal cuts is really hard, so that's why it's so lumpy.

When I was younger, I was fully convinced that being a hermit was an option for my future. I made some salutations just in case me and my squad of fellow hermits whom i didn't talk to needed to suddenly exit an awkward social situation.

Hermit salutations by Gwen  

Ninja hermit crane launch: to the crane ninja kick thing and say:

"Ninja hermits- AWAY!"

Jet pack Hermit exit call: throw fist in front of you, leap, and shout 

"Jet pack hermit squad- AWAY!"

Singular hermit salutations:  kiss first two fingers, hold them up, say:

"Hermit is out- peace!"

Things I wondered as a kidlet:

When is Ripley (our old dog) coming home from heaven?

Is there a third gender? There's boy, and girl, and there must be another one. Cousin? No, that's not a gender. Jack and Max are boys. Alien? No, that just means from another planet.

Is there a letter for the hard g sound (like in Gwen) cause the letter g is pronounced jee. I decided to make another letter pronounced gee (that's with the hard g at the beginning). It want until later that I learned that the same letter can make different noises.

The CD in the car was reflecting rainbows onto my hand. It's probably a secret message from the rainbow gods or the CD gods...

i was playing Monument Valley and decided to try painting one of the interlude levels. Can I paint? nope. But i'm good at trying new things

This was the screenshot from the game.

I don't even listen to twenty one pilots, but every time I see this on tumblr or pinterest or whatever, It makes me happy and strong.