A lazy Tuesday afternoon

Preview:

"And old Johnny Dashwood was like "Oh shoot. Me ol daddys done dead and now I've got all this money on my hands, which I should totally give to my sisters and mommy 'cause I'm a kindly old dude. It really beats me why he couldn't have divided up the money so they and I could have equal parts and do just fine, but it's the 18th century, for god's sakes, we cant be fair to the womenfolk!"

It was rather hot yeaterday, but the somewhat comfortable sort of hot, not the "oh-dang-we're-stuck-in-a-pit-of-hell-I-think-my-eyebrows-got-singed-off!" sort of hot. In the afternoon it had cooled down enough to have an enjoyable time outside for any length of time. 

Andie had brought out Sense and Sensibility to her favorite rock and was reading it aloud to Rylan 

Sort of. Sense and Sensibility is a very boring book, and Rylan had already read it, so Andie was reading it to herself for the first time, but mostly making things up.

"And old Johnny Dashwood was like "Oh shoot. Me ol daddys done dead and now I've got all this money on my hands, which I should totally give to my sisters and mommy 'cause I'm a kindly old dude. It really beats me why he couldn't have divided up the money so they and I could have equal parts and do just fine, but it's the 18th century, for god's sakes, we cant be fair to the womenfolk!"

And his wife, Fanny, who shall be referred to from here on out as "fanny pack" or "ye olde bottom" said unto her husband, "Ah hanestlah dahnt cahr ahbaht tham wahmahn's rahts ahf yahrs, Ah cahn mahrray a rach mahn ahnd have nah manehy wahrries ahv mahy ahwn. Whaw cahrs ahf Ah lahk thah gahy ahr naht!*"

"Quite right, my dear Olde Bottom, we shall keep all the money for ourselves. My mommy and sisters don't even need it. We shall ho home and eat gallons and gallons of the most expensive ice cream imported from France"

"Ahh, yahs, thaht sahnds wahndarfahul, deah." Ye Olde Bottom replied. and they made smoochie noises at eachother until He Who Drove The Fancy Horses Who Pulled The Fancy Cart threatened to take them to the insane asylum instead of their rich house."

*Translation of Fanny's speech impediment: I honestly don't care about these women's right of yours, I can marry a rich guy and have no money problems of my own. Who cares if I like the guy or not!.....Ah yes, that sounds wonderful, dear.

"And so with no money, the Dashwood females move out of their big fancy home to their relative, Sir John Middleton's house." Rylan prompted.

"Right. Mrs. Dashwood, Elinor, and Marianne are all eating blueberry pancakes one morning when Mrs. Dashwood, who's real name is Mommy, as you know from ol Johnny boy's point of view on things, says "well, females whom I have created, it's the 18th century for god's sakes, and we can't inherit estates now, can we? If I wasn't such a pompous pushover I'd stay in the basement. But I do so love being classy and the center of attention, so we shall have to move out and find a new social circle from which I can feed like a vampire on gossip and extroverted energy, plus I haven't the faintest idea if someone is buying the house or not, because i'm only half paying attention."

And then Elinor says to herself "oh, that's too bad, I like that guy down the street. Edward." But she didn't say it out loud, because she is an adopted brown recluse, and everyone knows spiders don't talk.

Then Marianne looks over at Elinor and says "Oh, Elinor, Have you been a spider the whole time? How come you never told us?"

Elinor the brown recluse just blinks exasperatedly.

Then Marianne looks at her mother and says "I don't know why you wanted her in the filrst place. Never adds to conversation, always gets lost under furniture... I say we ship her off to boarding school."

"Will you get to the point, please?"

"Yes. I shall. This is but the base of the iceberg, impeding us on our journey to the tip, much like your idiomatic point. Now then, on with the story. Having finished their pancakes, It was time to board the elephants to galump off to Sir John Middleton's house. So they get all settled in and Elinor got lost n the couch, Mommy was talkning to humans and being an energy vampire, so Marianne went for a walk. And it's raining because the clouds don't like her and clouds really can't do anything about people they don't like, 'cause they're stuck in the sky, as the mercy of the wind. So what's a cloud to do? They pee on her. The clouds pee and pee and pee, and Marianne slips in the pee and twists her ankle. And she's all like 

"oh woe is me

i'm drenched in cloud pee

Oh how I hate thee,

ankle is killing me"

And there is a debatably hot guy who also happens to be wandering about in the cloud pee sees her and decides to be the night in shining armor and recsues Marianne from the cloud pee and treasonous ankles. So they flirt for a bit and if we flip forward a few chapters we find out he is a poop head and is really dating a rich girl. And Marianne throws a fit, gets sick and Elinor the brown recluse comes out from the couch and has to bite her to put her out of her misery. Good times, no?

Rylan made a half snort, half laugh sort of noise, and decided she better not preach to Andie about classic literature, it's importance, and the fact that she was missing the point, that Elinor and Marianne are two extreme emotions, and neither all sense nor all sensibility is good for finding love, and you need a happy medium of the two. (at least, that's what rylan thinks  the book is about.)

Andie finds herself far more amusing than she probably should.