Bananas attacked my hometown

When bananas attacked my home town
the first thing they stole was the old crown.
They fought off the cops, throwing mid sized rocks
t'till there was destruction all around.

With the old crown they made themselves rulers,
made laws that were "better" and newer.
No coats were permitted, unless they were fitted
and they jailed all the open mouth chewers.

The townspeople started to riot
and went on banana free diets.
This was a mistake- bananas did take
their numbers and then multiply it.

Those times were right awful, of course
what with the banana strike force.
This fruity militia would come out to getcha
when in new government we would endorse.

The future began to look brighter
when somebody pulled an all-nighter,
laying out traps- with pulleys and snaps
they'd catch even the greatest fruit fighter.

Today there are no more sad frowns
in the battle bananas did back down
They all ran away- we shouted HOORAY!
when bananas fled from my hometown.

Back And Weirder Than Ever- REJOICE, FRIENDS

You are in a great hall, superbly decorated by someone with a dark and eccentric taste. You walk towards the end, feet padding across the shiny floor. You squint in the darkness, towards the shape at the end of the hall. As you near, you realize that the shape is a desk with a high, leather backed chair behind it. The chair's back is facing you, so the occupant may gaze out the windows at the night. Eight feet away from the desk, you stop. And cough- politely.
The chair moves slowly, the back spinning away and the front spinning towards you. A face slides into the dim light of the hall. You silently accept your fate.
I look over my glasses at you, fingers steepled.
"You have accepted my offer, I see." I say, unnecessarily, because you wouldn't be here if you hadn't accepted. I've always liked drama like that.
"You seemed worthy of my attention." You say, from your place eight feet away from my desk, also unnecessarily. You wouldn't be here if I wasn't worthy of your attention. You've always liked drama like that.
I sigh. "First door on your right," I tell you. You nod and stride away, into the corridor.
A door creaks open.
Green light spills out, along with screams.
A door closes.

Adventures with Tracy the uptight family friend + get to know me tag

G R E E T I N G S,  E A R T H   F R I E N D S
Preview of what's to come:

• Guttural noises
• Interpretive dancing
• Creative uses and misuses for green beans
• Making loud comments on the mundane
• Using telekinesis to tickle Eli's kidneys
• Sliding along the floor on my belly shouting "I'M COMING FOR YOU!"

how many employees have fallen to the corn syrups's sticky regime?

preview:
 I illegally acquired a sprig of rosemary from the bush next to me, and made plans to speak to the ghosts in the study. (More on that later.) from there we walked to a fancy grocery store that does not like corn syrup. I think there might be epic battles being waged under the streets between the employees of the grocery store and corn syrup. how many employees have fallen to the corn syrups's sticky regime?
I feel like it is important to mention that I had string lights tied around my hat for the whole walk.

A dramatic entrance for standard Gwen content. Enjoy

*strides into stage, cape billowing*
*boots clomp to halt in front of microphone. Cape swishes*
H E L L O,  P E O P L E  R E A D I  N G  T H I S
I HAVE RETURNED FROM WAR!
What war?
THE WAR THAT IS SCHOOL.
Oh. You're a tad over dramatic aren't you, Gwen?
NO. HOW DARE YOU. I AM THE GOAT OVERLORD OF THE UNIVERSE. DO NOT QUESTION ME OR I SHALL SMITE YOU.

Goat Overlord Of The Universe: the full story

In earlier posts and in the comment boxes of at least three different people, I have mentioned that I am the Goat Overlord Of The Universe. You are no doubt wanting to know why this is. FEAR NOT! Your thirst for knowledge will be quenched. {quenched is a good word. Like splinched and wombat and guacamole}

Martian goat kitties- free to a good home

Howdy, folks!
I hope you are all having happy days. Or at least not painful. If you can't do happy i hope your are somewhere comfortably neutral.
I'm doing ok right now. That changes about as often as the direction of a hyperactive kindergartner in a toy store, but as of this moment I'm pretty ok
Today in school, I was doing brilliantly as filling out worksheets.
1. {questionquestionquestion} show your steps.
      I drew some stairs
2. {questionquestionquestion} give a brief answer in the space provided.
      I drew a pair of boxer briefs.
And then I gave an answer that started out with a normal sentence, answering the question. In the middle I prophesied about the second coming of velociraptors, and concluded with another normal sentence. The teacher walked by, saying "good job using up all the space..." And then he looked a little closer. "That's a little dark, don't you think?"
I am a laugh and a half, I tell you.

Hootenanny worm wart oil enhancing melancholyizer

Hey there folks.

Ive managed to crawl out from my homework and books and tv shows and music to come say hi.

Hi.

Andie and Rylan also say hi. I took these before Halloween was even here, and now Halloween is gone. Im super great at keeping track of things. The leaves were kind of squishy from the rain so Andie had to do a dance to get them to crunch properly.

Copy and paste

Artists and authors and scientists and mathematicians,
eaters of breakfast cereals, watchers of rain, criers of tears and shedders of blood
I welcome you all to Copy And Paste, in which I spew onto the screen the recent goings-on of my mind. Despite the magnificent introduction to this post, it is no where near as fancy or profound as you may have expected. Nay, I reckon it'll be pretty odd. It's just bits and pieces from my Notes app.
But the oddness is is what you're here for, isn't it?
HERE WE GOOOO!

Shout out to the kids who kept nose-picking well into the 4th grade and developed that "if I cover my nose with one hand I can pick freely with the other" technique.
Shout out to the kids who have since discovered that doesn't really work.

A lazy Tuesday afternoon

Preview:

"And old Johnny Dashwood was like "Oh shoot. Me ol daddys done dead and now I've got all this money on my hands, which I should totally give to my sisters and mommy 'cause I'm a kindly old dude. It really beats me why he couldn't have divided up the money so they and I could have equal parts and do just fine, but it's the 18th century, for god's sakes, we cant be fair to the womenfolk!"

It was rather hot yeaterday, but the somewhat comfortable sort of hot, not the "oh-dang-we're-stuck-in-a-pit-of-hell-I-think-my-eyebrows-got-singed-off!" sort of hot. In the afternoon it had cooled down enough to have an enjoyable time outside for any length of time. 

Andie teaches you what to do with unwanted food

Today I was presented with this item here that is pertending to be food.

I can see past it's disguise and can definitely tell you it is one of those Cookies That Isn't Really Food.

This particular species of cookie is not really food, but fluffy, squishy, dry and tasteless bread topped with sugar slime from the Swamps of Confection.

The Internet Demons

WARNING: UNBRIDLED GWEN-HUMOR LIES AHEAD!

BEHOLD:The wonder that is THE BUN HAWK

 It is a mohawk made of buns!

 This one is fuzzy, but it's still cool. I can rarely ever make her hair look that brown.

 I used no hair thingies for this.

 Each bun is just a bit of twisted hair tied in a knot on itself.

Ah yes. dolly feet. : )

In a few minutes, I will head to my grandma's house to have a sleepover with my cousins. Bellatrix will be bringing her doll and we'll do a photoshoot, I hope.

Love,

Gwynnefar