Petty conversations for the weak minded

One day when I was a 6th grader and was particularly displeased with my airhead peers, I told my dad that I was going to write a book and name it "Petty Conversations For the Weak Minded" and use my lunch table for research. He laughed, because that was a very witty thing for a 6th grader to say, and then went back to making dinner.
That night I didn't feel like sleeping (I never feel like sleeping at night) so I began to write a how-to book for those who wanted desperately to talk as frivolously as those who ruled the 6th grade.

1

Complaining

The the most important part of a petty conversation is the dissing. Whether it's fashion, food, or friends, complaining is the key. What brings us together is common hatred, not common likes.

Conversation starter: "You know what I hate..."

Tip: search the very depths of your soul for the smallest worry or dislike. For example: the way someone ties their shoelaces.

2

Fashion

Complaining is the one thing you need for a petty conversation, but what should you complain about?

The Internet Demons

WARNING: UNBRIDLED GWEN-HUMOR LIES AHEAD!