Squeal of joy

all right I don’t know about y’all but I am BEYOND excited because a few days ago I was browsing the AG site (has to be done sometimes) and discovered that they released new Truly Me dolls. Im not caught up with everything that goes on so this came as a surprise. But while doing that I noticed something. Somebody. This somebody:
TrulyMe #79, a medium skinned Jess Mold. The first medium skinned jess mold EVER aside from Kanani (GOtY 2011). Now Kanani has been my dream doll for years, but I doscovered American Girl in 2013, so Kanani was long gone by then. After many fruitless scourings of ebay and just hoping to find one at a good will or something, I gave up. One couldn’t just have a not!Kanani because that face mold and skin tone combination straight up wasn’t avalible.
But now it is!
I have been debating for a few months werher or not to get Luciana, because lots of times I want something and then decide “no I don’t really need that” for the sake of money or space. But then I remember how much I wanted the thing, often long after the item has been retired. So getting Luciana was a definite possibility ever since January.
But not!Kanani holds presidence over her, being that I’ve wanted her more and for much longer. Though a TrulyMe just released will not retire anytime soon, it is best to satisfy an old want than to get a new doll just because I might regret not getting her in the future.
The feeling of wanting a doll badly is a feeling I had nearly forgotten. As a 7th and 8th grader I would find a doll or outfit I wanted, I would find a way for it to fit in with the rest of my doll’s lives and the story I have going for them. I would get so ecxited thinging about having it and using it, plotting where I would get the money and the logistics of an AG store trip or ordering online. The excitement would fill my chest and buzz down my arms while my brain whirled around backstories, names, and clothing preferences. Sometimes I couldn’t even sleep.
But as I grew older (not even very much older) I developed depression and all emotions faded out and drained away while I was left laying in a mud puddle, my body filled with styrofoam and unable to move or think. Three years went by. Wanting to use dolls was the first to go. Wanting to live went a while larter. Grades and friends slipped, of course. All was foggy and dim.
But now, after more than a year of medication and counseling (some with therapists, some with personal research) interest in school, friends, starry hill, acting, singing, and astrophotography returned. So did the doll hobby. And now, I find it amazing that I can loose sleep being wxcited to think about dolls and excitement for the future- near future being the acting class I chose to take (first non school class ever except piano lessons which I quit long ago) and far future (growing nearer) being college, the prospect of which used to terrify me, but now excites me.
Personal anecdote aside:
I think the best way to purchace such expensive dolls is to wait until you have a personality and backstory developed. Otherwise you wind up with a hunk of vinyl instead of a character. I did that with TrulyMe (which was MyAG at the time) #61. She was on the Julls steals and Deals sale a few years ago, and I was immensely pleased that I could get a hundred dollar doll for $70, especially since she was the only one with truly red hair and green instead of hazel eyes. Despite all this, I didn’t know who she would be or how she fit in. To this day she does not have a name. I have tried several times, but they never stick. I might take off her wig and pop out her eyes just in case I want to build a doll. Maybe get a head from ebay.
So the next order of buisness is: who shall #79 be?