I've got to tell you something: I have no belly button.

That was a lie. Forgive me- I do have a belly button. It's an innie.

I was sitting in math today when my brain decided it would be a good idea to be really anxious. You know, you're sitting there doing nothing of consequence when all of a sudden you brain says "hey, don't you have something to be nervous about? Time to nervous! Wheee!" And you're stuck with butterflies and a tight throat for a minute or so till brain says "oh. Never mind." Anyway, that little nervous spell reminded me (for no reason I can think of) of several years ago, in 6th grade, when my grandpa was in the hospital with lukemia (blood cancer). And we would go and visit him as often as possible, several times a week. I thought about that time, perhaps concernedly, because as an 11 year old, Grandpa dying wasn't even a possibility. I had absolutely no worries about that. At school I thought about telling my friends, simply because that was a thing that people got upset about and telling people the big things happening in your life was a normal thing to do? But I didn't, because it wasn't a problem for me.



Grandpa turned out fine, if you were wondering. Now he and grandma are traveling in Spain, and I'm taking care of their dog, an Pomeranian/pappillon mix named Dude. So I walk through the woods to grandmas house in the evenings to feed Dude, and eat very reasonable amounts of ice cream in the dark by myself, listening to My Chemical Romance (yup, that's become a thing. Second hand fandom disease finally got to me. So I just have it playing in the background, only half paying attention where I couldn't tell you what  song I'm listening to- just that I like it.).
There isn't much that makes me feel more at peace than sitting in the dark eating coffee ice cream and trying new music.
Do try it sometime.
How random bursts of nervousness and the less than awesome November of 6th grade and eating ice cream alone in the dark all relate I don't know. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

Just FYI my drawings have reached a whole new level of horrible because I just now noticed that there's a drawing tool in my notes app. Now I can just draw whenever I think I need a drawing, instead of planning things out and giving a drop of concern over whether it looks remotely nice.
My bus ride is an HOUR long after school. It could be 18 minutes, but the rout loops around all over the place so the ride between my high school and the elementary school Mom and Dad work at is painfully long.
I have first lunch, and am too lazy to pack more than a peanut butter sandwich to eat in my little corner of the library, so by the time I get to Mom and Dad's school I am ready to kill and eat whoever crosses me.
Cannibalism is frowned upon, as was stated clearly by the new, even creepier Willy Wonka, so I have to resort to my stunning survival skills.
I will show you how it's done.

1. Remove your shoes. This is done for stealth reasons. When sneaking through the deserted hallways of an elementary school, it is best not to be heard.

2. If you were wondering why you don't want to be heard in a deserted hallway, I must ask you to read section 2 of Fabricated Beings and their Habitats.

3. Search through your family's lunch boxes for any edible items.

4. Search through all places in the room for something to eat.
5. After finding nothing, wallow in self pity.

6. Use your stealthy socks to sneak up to the staff lounge. This is best done while imitating a velociraptor, to ward off any demons that may threaten you on your journey.
7. Enter staff lounge. Feast upon stale pretzels and a lone bagel half you shooed the flies away from.

8. If you are lucky, you may find a little Debbie or hostess cake no one wants.

9. This schmidt is excellent when you're hungry, but if you ate some decent food beforehand, biting into these is like eating a satanic pillow of sugar and lies. It's gross. There's a very good reason why my parents never ever buy these.
10. Also, microwave some water and make some tea from your mom's desk drawer.
Some days, earl gray tea and stale pretzels just taste so good.

Fabricated Beings and their Habitats: section 2
Alone in hallways after school, lurking in dark alleys and side streets, haunting icy cold toilet seats, the Gradients make themselves apparent starting at about 4:00. Mo one has ever seen a gradient in person, but many accidental photographs and reported missing persons are evidence enough for their existence. In 3007, a teacher's son reported strange noises coming from the janitor's closet, and bones being thrown out the doors periodically.

This is me as a snake spewing weirdness at you.

AND HERE IS SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT:

A while back I promised Kirsten and Sylvia (and friends) a shout out, but I forgot! Now I remembered, and I want you all to go admire their awesomeness. 

If you havent clicked the link yet, here are some reasons to:

GOTY polls: help collaborate to design a hypothetical Girl Of The Year doll.

When we're all finished, we'll try making edits or drawings of her. So far, she has wavy, black, waist length hair, medium skin, aquamarine eyes, and a marie-grace face mold.

Also, the human behind the blog has an etsy shop (Kittykat Workshop) with these amazing products:

(check out the shop for more brilliance!)

They are all so cute and autumnal and cozy I cant even. You should go buy some right now. Or better yet, don't, so I can ask for them for Christmas.

If that isnt reason enough for you, she also does some really cute photoshoots:

Ok. I'm done now.